...and then there was sun...

On Saturday we were out in the yard from 7:30 am and it was hot, the best day we've had this spring. I followed my personal tradition of renouncing sunscreen in the first sun of the year in order to tan some of my pasty Icelandic-English skin-- by 2:30 I was wearing a hat remembering the time in 7th grade my class went on a fieldtrip to a lake on the day of our elementary school graduation and I burned so badly (I mean so badly) that I was a virtual lobster.
It feels great to have our own yard. We rented houses for years but I never wanted to do more than the basics to fix it up, especially if we knew the landlords didn't give a crap about the house. Now we have our own and inherited a yard that had been as neglected as the house. We had a load of dirt brought in and we've planted the gardens and lots of perennials including a rosebush, hydrangeas and lilacs. I've also scattered the wildflower seeds-- that mix includes poppies, my absolute favourite.

After the day of sun we went for dinner with friends which was great, except for the flirty waiter. I was annoyed but part of the conversation we were having had to do with a story that J had told about a straight guy at her work having been completely offended and disgusted that a gay guy had tried to pick him up. J had said that she didn`t get it, why can`t someone just say ‘thanks but no thanks’ and let it be at that. She`s right, of course. Anyone finding you attractive should be great... this waiter, though, deserved a swift stab with a fork from under the table for calling me, ahem, “lil’ lady”, “miss”, and “lil’ miss”, all within a 3 hour period. First of all, gay or not, I’m 27 and it turns out I actually look it because I don’t get ID’ed anymore, so don’t call me “little”, and don’t ever call me “miss”. So then when we were ready to go and he asked how we wanted the bills split he had a hard time understanding. He said, “so split it across like this” (motioning toward me and one of our guy friends, and then to J and our other guy friend, assuming that we were on dates, I guess) and I said, “no, like this” (motioning toward J and I and then the second bill for the two guys). “Like this?” he asked, making the same motions I had, and I said, “yes.” The waiter missed a beat and then said, “Ok, ‘cause the way I have it now is split individually... so...” I said, “nope, split in two is perfect”. Is it that difficult? At least he didn’t come around then and pass the bill to J, which often happens because as you know, someone has to be the guy in the relationship. (insert gagging here).

And here we are at Monday morning, day one of my week off. It’s crazy working in a place where I HAVE to take my days off, can’t just bank my vacation days. So I took this week because J’s dad arrives on Thursday and we’re rebuilding decks, laying some flooring and putting up a new gate. I thought I would get a bit of painting done before he gets here... I just have to get myself motivated to get out of my chair right now.... here we go....

Romantic shmomantic

I have a romantic idea of the person I'd like to be, she's right out of a novel. She doesn't blush, she makes plans and keeps them, she stays up late and gets up early, she works out 'cause it feels good, she writes novels, she shops often enough to have a pretty good rotation of a wardrobe going, she remembers birthdays and sends cards on time, nix that, early, she spends hours at a time lounging and reading a great book while enjoying a reasonably-sized glass of wine, she has a tasteful tattoo and remembers to go for regular hair cuts and has her hair coloured in the salon, not from a boxed mix, she takes the dog to obedience school, she has a career she is passionate about, she is able to bring dying plants back to life, she walks the dog twice a day without fail, she is motivated enough to write the exams for grad school, she is motivated enough to figure out whether she WANTS to go to grad school, she is well versed in the names of her favorite songs rather than just the general tune, she doesn't open-mouth-insert-foot on a regular basis, she has a relatively strong grasp on regular small talk rather than feeling stumped on something to say other than umm, yeah, can you believe we had snow this morning? In May? Yeah.
I like to think that this person exists, but I also like to think that other people feel the same way, like somewhere along the way something just slips away-- you spend your childhood thinking that you will grow up and everything will just happen. I'm still waiting.
When I was growing up I wanted to write and I still want to. I just don't have the confidence that I used to have, but I`m working on it.